Spring DilemmaWhile springtime is supposed to be about love and flowers, birds and bees, there is the other truth. Spring can be depressing. It's a big time for suicide, and also for break ups. Why, I don't care; but that statistically being true is the point here.
I heard some women friends discussing this. They were saying how happy they had been to find someone to share some life with; happy enough that when they met some fundamental road signs that screamed, "Please don't put up with this. Please," it was just as tempting to do the sour thing for self-care, and opt for dates with the doubted-one, his company, and the illusion of some romance. It seemed to beat boredom! I remember this dilemma. I love my women friends; platonic is great: I get physically hugged, accepted unconditionally and "met". So, the obvious question is, why the desperation? My answer is, I learned long ago that "love" or "lust" is not rational business. I have never had much success just reasoning with my heart (or other organ). Still. I don't believe in "doomed" either. This is a "faith" deal, (and I don't mean by faith "religion") ... faith in myself, that hanging out with me more, while lonely sounding, didn't and doesn't always feel lonely. Well ... that's what my women friends were saying. That, and some things about self-pride and self-worth. I wonder if those always have to come from doing things that are hard to do ... No. But sometimes that's where it comes from. If dilemmas were easy, they wouldn't be dilemmas, ! I do love the SNUGness of well-timed, succinct electronic communication. What a miraculous thing. It keeps us plugged in on a lonely day in Spring-gray Seattle. It's also why Obama's in the White House (ask Voter Action)!
At the same time, I hear about loneliness ... the kind that comes with quip-heavy, humorous, cool responses to one another, done without ever seeing a face (amusing sometimes / detached at others). Do we get that way of responding through better short & to-the-point electronic responses? Ooops. Maybe. So, once again, I am getting on my phone-people-and-set-dates horse, ready to re-immerse myself in a friend's smile (or tears) and bathe in that variety of humanity. The two work so well together. I just find the latter harder to pull off these days. Maybe it's just me? People are worried about the economy; I get that. And then there's that temptation to pull in, and do things solo (when tense, isolate & self nurture). But, as a smart acquaintance said today, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. Here's to tending-to Tonto. |
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