It's that place where, more than any other, it doesn't matter much what people think of me. A place where it seems safe enough. Not that I don't care at all what others think of me. But early-on, I didn't ... I just needed to tell people I was hurting.
After the inevitable happened (i.e. finally saying 'ouch') __ people really liked my confession because 'they'd felt exactly that way, themselves. They went on, to open up about their own similar experiences. __ I have seldom gone back to micromanaging my facade, or to 'putting my best foot forward' after that ... I probably realized that the things I had tended to do (& probably still do) in social situations, was the very thing that had ended up turning me off to social situations! It's good for me to see that I always have s o m e place where what I do or say just doesn't matter all that much :0 For several months now, I have been facilitating a women's group again. It's been some years ... It's getting to the point that the trust is there enough that people are starting to admit their true feelings/struggles. There's humor ... tears. It's a reluef to be there for me, in this realness created by people who are not interested in "fronting".
Good life! I am in my element and am remembering why I went into this field in the first place ... Dropping formalities is a much more warm, interesting way to be. |
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