Yesterday, a friend who's certain she's getting fired, despite a strong 6-month evaluation, came over. I'd asked other women friends, from a variety of employment backgrounds, to come (with her permission, of course), for tea, cinnamon roles, and some letting-our-hair-down time. FABULOUS!
The best part is that no one just offered advice, though some was given for what to questions and requests to take into the 'meeting' ; the other women shared times they had faced intimidation, or had to fire someone (how t h a t felt), and times they had been fired or laid off. There was a range of emotion: empathy, fired-up support, laughter ... the unexpected. Result? My friend didn't freeze up or fail to respond intelligently. Her pride was left in tact; and she thought to go directly to the unemplyment office, despite the extension of a severance package. She didn't feel alone, like a freak, or ashamed. LOVE it. Women's Group a n d Men's GroupLately I had to cover for a colleague, and facilitated a support group for men. Much like in Thursday-night women's group, I kept hearing from the men that it was the place they could be real. Work, where there's a certain financial motive to looking "together" stops let-your-hair-down conversations from happening much. Time is another factor ... how often do I see friends and tell them what's up with me, or sound-out my sweatier personal questions?
That there's a need we have these days, more than ever, to have such a place shouldn't surprise me. But it does. Maybe I am in denial about just how little I carve out the friend time I would like to think I have. |
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